Updated: Jun 26, 2020
Children are our most precious little blessings from God. They arrive like heavenly angels as we fall in love with their little faces, the precious moments like their first words, or first steps. We hold these things so near and dear to our hearts. So much so that parenthood takes over and our marriages and romance with our spouses take the back seat. We forgot how we once occupied the time and space that the new baby has taken over. They begin to grow and we run from dance recitals, to sporting events, and eventually they are hitting memorable milestones like kindergarten, middle school, and before you know it they are high schoolers. We wonder where has the time gone! However, we don't want to wake up one day and wonder, “What Has Happened To Us?”.
We forgot to continue to nourish the marriage that we have been in during all the memorable moments with the children. Newsflash! Before your children came you were married and my prayer is that you won’t wake up one day and wonder who each other are after 18 years of pouring into the children who will grow up to one day leave the nest, and build their own family. There are a few tips I would like to share with you in hopes to encourage you and your spouse.
1) Keep date night in your lives. Anything that is good and perfect is from God. So your marriage is good and in order for it to stay that way, you must still be in tune with your spouse and make time. I’ve heard couples say all the time that they don’t have the time. We actually have 24 whole hours in a day, and as people we will make time for what is important to us. It requires two things if you have a busy life like most of us, strategy and planning. My latest date during quarantine was just the hubs and I out on the patio enjoying each others company while the kiddos settled into bed. It was important to us so we planned and made it happen.
2) Get out of your own way. If your routine before the babies/kids was that one spouse was usually the planner of date night and they have been essentially overwhelmed with work, or the new baby, as their partner it is ok for you to take the lead and do the planning and scheduling. Let’s not let that be an excuse as to why it’s not happening because just as before marriage dating takes effort.
3) Build a support system. I am not going to be naïve here and some of us are in situations where we just don’t have anyone to keep our kids that we trust because we may not have the family support where we live. Hello! I’ve been there. Finding a support system for date night also takes effort. The question is how important is spending time with your spouse away from the kids? Does it make you change your plans? Are you putting together a strategy and planning?
4) Ask each other for grace. There were plenty of times that I was exhausted yall! And hubby was telling me to call the sitter for a date night. I couldn’t figure out how I would muster up the energy to get dressed to look cute and presentable and quite honestly feel like going. It was in those times where I pushed through that we had some of the best times together like single friends dating. What kids? Haha!
5) Be ok that it may look different. Let’s be honest truth is you may have talked all night on the phone to your spouse or you may even hung out late just enjoying each other’s company after the kids this may not be ideal for you with new schedules etc. You may have took hours to get ready so everything was perfect, but with a busy and hectic life this is now impossible. Be ok with it. Date night may look like 2-4 hours and maybe 30min to an hour to get ready. It may be for just dinner. It may grow into overnight, or a weekend, however it looks accept it with a grateful heart.
God’s plan for us in marriage is that we grow together. We have made a commitment until death do us part and we become one in His eyes so he wants to see our marriages flourish. Our children are not meant to change this plan. We were entrusted with our blessings because they are one of our many assignments here on Earth. If you have been blessed with a partner to share in this with, well that in itself is a gift from God! xoxo